May suruh letak:

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

Hmph. Weird but true. Esp the last few points. Well. Pretty much everything actually. Kakakakaka.
Okay. Ill stop blogging bout these things. For now. :D

Labels: Random

Great. One day it’s ‘I am so glad I’m single’ and the next it’s ‘Gosh, why can’t I just get a boyfriend’. Jeez. Now it’s just me wanting to beat myself up for sounding so goddamn pathetic. It’s so superficial when u look back at it logically. But hey, since when were my emotions ever logical.

I’m already too distracted as it is, what with awesome friends and cool events coming up these next few weeks. How in the world can I fit a love life in when I can’t even concentrate on my studies?

Who’s gonna pull me up when I enter my well of despair and ignorance. Who’s gonna brighten up my day with private jokes and his cute smile? Who’s gonna give me goodnight calls that might just last for hours n let me give him wake up calls? Who’s gonna pull me in close when the wind blows too hard?

At least I don’t have to tolerate prolonged sulking over small matters. I don’t have to lower my ego just so he can win the battle. I don’t have to put up with nagging and disapprovals. I don’t have to impress anyone and I can dress however I want, eat whatever I want and go wherever and whenever I want to go.

I miss him but I’m so sick of having to work things out and hope for things that won’t come true. I’m also sick of having to soothe myself and give myself pep-talks about how I’ll find someone better. It’s hard to believe in all that crap when there’s not much proof to it.

*sigh* I don’t know what I want. It’s just one of those stupid phases where u try to find something wrong with yourself when in actual fact everything is A-Okay.

Labels: Boys, Emo

Listen to Hawk Nelson!!!! (Mr Chomet suruh promotekan diorg). Tp mmg bes pon. This band was featured in the movie 'Yours, Mine, Ours. I just love their song 'Everything You Ever Wanted'. Here's their link:

Hawk Nelson

Owh n also Hellogoodbye. This band opened for All American Rejects when they performed in Sydney. Bes gak melayan diorg. Lil headbangin n 'feng tau-ing' in the mosh pit. Ull knw wat I mean when u listen to them. Check out 'touchdown turnaround' n 'here in ur arms'. Here u go:

Hellogoodbye

Owh n Lustra jugak. They sang 'Scotty Doesn't Know' that was featured in Eurotrip. Klaka. Check out their other song 'Coming in stereo'. Link:

Lustra

K till then. C ya! Mwax! My head is filled with music. Tambah lg ngan Fini who thinks her life is a musical n just has to burst out in a song every few minutes. Thr r a couple more bands Id like to check out but this is it for now.

ps: If u like Hip Hop or a bit of a drool, check out Tila Tequila. Ull either be appaled, humoured or juz godsmacked by her hawtness. Not recommended for the faint hearted and yg cannot take half naked pictures (well unless u disable the load images on ur browser bole kot). Kaka.

Tila Tequila

Labels: pop punk/powerpop

I sat staring at my notes for half n hour, my mind wandering to thoughts that should not exist for if pursued, would just lead to heartbreak. I should have been concentrating on those notes but my mind just did not have the sheer will to do so.

I then dialed Liz's number. 1 minute on the phone with her, hearing the surprised tone in her voice, made me beam. I had to call her back though. Funny thing is, when I put down d phone, I actually was happy and motivated enough to study. So I did, for the next half hour.

Thus is the power my friends evoke on me. Without them I'd probably be a lump of boredom. Nyeh. I love my besties!!!! N my Sydney family! N all mah close frens! HUUUUGGGZZZ!! *clears throat* Sorry bout that. Talkin to my best fren Liz makes me very happy. :D

Nitey Nite.

Labels: Friends

A migraine. Thats what came between me and math lecture. TWO math lectures. Gah.

Dammit. I forgot wat I wanted to write abt. fini distracted meeee!! Double Gah.

Aw yeah. My weekend. Even if it is d middle of d week now. Kaka. Had a great weekend but unproductive in the academic sense. I was all pumped 4 studying on Saturday. Had a nice brekkie on my balcony dat sunny morning n was all set in conquering my chem notes when a phone call from a fren asking for a favour jerked me out of my realistic fantasy (I doubt i wld haf gone 3 straight hours studying chem..n yes i realise its a n oxymoron). So I spent d rest of d afternoon embarking on this favour. So yes. I got bek at 4 thinking I could tackle some notes but I then realised I had a dinner date with my frens. So I got ready n that night I had a ball of a time with my Sydney family. Tee Hee. Everything seems soooo much better with the people u love surrounding u. Im so glad I spent time wit them. We went to that halal Tandoori shop on Enmore road. Then we had ice cream at the Fench Riveira. YUMMY. As Soya puts it, "Mango dia SEDAP GILE!" HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAA..*clears throat* Um. Sorry bout that. Anyway, since we spent practically the whole nite laughing, poking fun at each other and making stupid jokes, I was practically beat when I reached n thus fell asleep instantly. So much for a studying. :)

Well the next day I had an UMNO meeting at Msia HAll. Had to wait ard, not doin much. Felt a lil guilty 4 not doin much. heh. Then headed off to Sydney U for the PEsta Kampoeng wit Hawa n Is. I had sate padang....mmmmmgooood.. I know Im not relli supposed to considering the amt of cholesterol in it but skali skala ok wat? N i also had Es Campur n brownies. Hehehehe...ok ok. No more extravagant spending n eating. The event was quite cool. They had waaay more stalls than UNSW n thus more *ahem* ppl. *sigh* I caught sight of a few lucious male indon specimens. *sigh* Anyway, i also saw a lot of families. Yg paling best is when I saw this old couple goin from stall to stall. Of course the first thought that came to my mind was OMAAAA!!! kaka. Man, they reminded me soo much of my granparents, even the way the woman was wearin her headscarf. Hehe. Im pretty sure if my granparents were to live in Sydney, they wuld be trudging thru the throngs of ppl lookin for goodies to eat as well. O maybe just my granma wld. N she'd drag me n her other grankids as well. I wldnt haf minded. I love indon food n I love my granma more. :D. Owh. Which brings me to a point. Chup jap eh. In May, my ganparents celebrated their 50th anniversary. My aunt came down from Jakarta 2 celebrate with them. I was here n thus not able to join in on the fun. The whole family had a nice dinner at some Thai restaurant n I just got the pics a month ago.



I think this pic is super cute. :D



Guess who's missing from this pic? The only other grankid who's off in Sydney. :(

So um yea. Thats my real family. :D

Anyway......once i got bek from the Pesta Kampoeng, I slept straight thru till morning. Quite an embarassing achievement really. 12 hrs from 7 pm. Gile ah. So there ya go. My totally unproductive weekend. Hehe. But at least I got to spend time with my "olok-olok" family. The awesome ppl ive known frm Msia Hall who've helped me feel rite at home here in Sydney n who I love to bits n pieces. Thanks guys. An outing with all of us is never a dull event. :D

K Finis hungry. I gotta fix dinner. Keke. Nitey nite.

Labels: Family, Food, Friends, Uni

I wasn't very optimistic a few days ago. I lost my concert ticket and I was sooo not in the position to shovel out 50 bucks more for another one. So I ransacked my room (leaving it in a huge mess in the process) n pouted for the rest of the time. I TRIED to be optimistic, but why bother when ur just gona get hurt. Just as you get ur hopes up, reality bites u in the ass. Maybe Im generally not an optimistic person. I try to be, but I end up being jaded. Coz as hard as you try to look on the bright side like say, ud be able to get those straight HDs even aftr slacking on three quizzes in a row, honestly n realistically, its not gona happen. Same goes wit havin the guy uve been crushing on for ages ask u out n actually like u back. (Okay, ni gile cam zaman kanak2 ribena..but bear wit me..im kinda sleepy..sorry).
But my perception towards optimism has changed. Even if I wasnt sunshiny optimistic bout the tickets, I still had a sliver of hope n i prayed that someone would find them. Surprise surprise. Someone did, n its now sitting in the lost n found at uni waiting for me to claim it. Im SCHO happy!! Its the best news Ive had so far. :D
So yea. tu sbnrnya wat I wanted to say. Damn. I hope they dont give it away. Nite.

ps: Ive had this weird urge to go up to my chem tutor n ask her to bake me some chocolate chip cookies. If she refuses im tempted to pout n make puppy dog eyes in order to con her into making me some. Why? Coz she looks so granmaish. I mean seriously i-love-bakin-n-gardening sorta granma. Geram gile sbb chomel sgt. Tee Hee.

Labels: Rambling

*sigh*

Im bored. Hmph. I just cant seem to study. Or commit to anything else for that matter. I cant even finish reading my novel. What more my chemistry lab report. Ah well. A small commercial break will do.

Anyway. Ive got concert tickets. Ive got a fridge load of veggies (more than I can even imagine cooking with). Ive just watched a Filipino movie about love (gag). Ive been trying to figure out how to limit my cholesterol intake. Ive spent most of my weekend and today lepaking and listening to slow and relaxing tunes on my new playlist which is aptly named 'lagulepak'. Ive been trying to cure my obsession with gol n gincu to which ive failed :). Ive also been trying to stop myself from being jealous at the sudden influx of newly taken friends (dat means theyre not single anymore doofus) and I think Im doin pretty good so far :D.

Oh Boy. Ive lost the plot kan? At least my clothes are all ironed and my room is finally neat. I now have a craving for indon movies. Grr. I watched one a few weeks ago. Starring Dian Sastro (reminds me of teh sosro. yummy.). Its a psychological drama called Belahan Jiwa. Sumthing abt multiple personalities. Bloody confusing. I also have a craving for May's brownies. And those prawn balls from Chinatown. Gah. But I cant on the account that I might die at 35 (as Prewin oh so lovingly pointed out) due to a heart attack.

Hmm. Question. Have u ever felt inferior standing next 2 d people u love? What if just when u thought that uve finally escaped from their shadow, they come right back and blanket you, rendering you invisible to everyone else? Its probably not on purpose n u may be exaggerating but its just something ur so used to theres just no point running from it. Being 2nd or 3rd or 4th best n being overlooked and forgotten is inevitable. Okay. I should stop making a big deal about this. Just forget it.

Okie dokie. Commercial break is over. Ill just stop here then. Till ive got sumthin else to ramble abt. Much love.

Labels: Friends, Rambling, Random

Ever had that feeling of liberation knowing that the only person you can rely on now is yourself? Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Let’s try that again. Ever felt good that for once you’re actually being independent and finally TRYING to act your age?

Yes well. This week I’ve just moved into Barker’s. It’s an apartment on campus. It’s not exactly Fantabulous, but it’s nice enough for me. After all the comfort of Malaysia Hall for the past 5-6 months, I was quite skeptical of my abilities to cope with my new surroundings. According to past experiences, I’m not emotionally stable when shoved into a new environment. I may look okay on the outside but when left alone I tend to think too much and I usually end up crying. Pathetic, I know. But that’s just me. Well. So far, I’ve been burning a hole in my pocket and bank account considering the stuff I have to buy to furnish a new room as well as cooking utensils and food. I just bought a book case today. Hawa and I had to lug it up the stairs ourselves. Whatta workout! Anyway, as I plan my shopping list (it gets longer by the day), I sort of have the feeling of independence I sought back in Malaysia. No more adults dictating what I should spend on. The clincher was when I had to stop by the butcher this afternoon. I was a bit frazzled by the different meat cuts but I got what I needed. The feeling I got as I walked back home can be likened to a little girl who dresses up in her mom’s heels and lipstick who can be seen pushing her teddy bear in a stroller around the playground. Yes. I am THAT delusional.

I suppose I am a bit too slow in experiencing all this. Most of you probably have felt this waaaaaaay earlier than me. But hey, at least I’m trying to be independent. At least I do my own laundry, I iron my clothes and I (try to) cook. I realize that I’ve learnt a lot in these past few months in Sydney. Trivial stuff to most people. But they work for me. Stuff involving softeners, microwaves and toilet bowl cleaners. Yes. There are some huge things that I have discovered as well, but let’s save that for another day okay? ;P

Ps: my nose stud came off during chem lab. I actually had tears in my eyes. Yea yea. Padan muka. :P.

Labels: Rambling