Holy Crap. Why can't I just work hard? WHY WHY WHY. Watch me lose sleep this next three days. Yeah right. I can't even muster up enough discipline to sit down and stare at my messed up thesis. I've got truckloads of stuff to fix. Meh.
Okla. Nak makan lunch then staple myself to the laptop.
I just watched that trailer alone in the room. Twice. Both times I had fresh tears rolling down my cheeks.
Yes. A lot can happen in 12 months. I'm praying to God our feelings never change. I'm praying to God I still have you and that you'll come back to me. I'm sure you're praying I won't leave. I'm praying to God I won't. Because you never know who would say no but I'm keeping our favourite movies as inspiration to stay strong.
At this moment I'm a mess. Physically, emotionally and mentally. My estrogen levels are plummeting rapidly and I just want to sleep. But my anxiety levels keep elevating as each minute passes and my discussion warrants my attention.
Now, if only my mother could come up with a cup of coffee and a nice warm hug. If only she could just look at me and tell me, "Shaheera, just a little bit more sayang. Mummy knows you can do it." Crap. I'm sure you guys know what I'm doing now so off I go to calm myself down.
I haven't gone out in days. I haven't done anything fun (in my terms) for ages! Uh. Outdoors I mean. I suppose watching movies under covers and weeping at The Notebook doesn't count.
I've been squeezing my brain for the intro to my thesis. Who knew it would take me one day to write 2 paragraphs? And who knew 2 paragraphs wouldn't even fill up one page?
I'm permanently glued to the seat and cushions in front of my laptop. So much so that every time I stand up, the blood rushes to my butt. Crud, have you ever felt pins and needles on your tush? VERY exciting.
Oh well. I'm sending my Methods and Results tonight. And hopefully my Intro by tomorrow night. Then off to dinner with Sabby!!!! :D Can't wait!!!
Oh and for the life if me, I can't stay up or wake up early. I'm feeling stressed and tired as it is. Plus I'm having my period. Almost. It keeps coming and going. Stresses me out even more because my boobies feel like they're being run over by a steamroller.
Thank God for chocolates. oh and boyfriends. ;) He's making me eat a whole bar of dark chocolate today. Yayayyyyy! :D
And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I happen to get both diarrhoea and bloating/gas at the same time. Woes me. I don't know if I'm hungry or I just need to fart or I need to use the loo. Make up yer mind matey!
Oh, I have also discovered that Sudoku calms my nerves and deactivates my emotional response to things. Pretty good when you're about to unleash 10 000 tears. Or melt into a pool of anger, fear and sweat. :P
Children's tears may seem like they're worth alot. Hands up who hasn't given in looking into those pools substituting as eyes? Thought so. But do remember, they can switch these things on and off to get what they want. The moment they achieve their goals, it's all sunshine and they leave you in the dust. And trust me, there's mooooreee where that came from. They forget the last time you rewarded them and are able to call upon all the times you've denied their requests. Tsk tsk. Let's take a moment of silence and grieve for all the parents out there. Especially my own. Har Har.
I want to go and do my thesis somewhere else. Some cafe that would allow me to stay for long hours and order cake and coffee. And where noone I know will walk in and distract me. Any suggestions would be good, please and thank you!
A dash of Disney, a sprinkle of pop punk, lashings of sweet treats, a pinch of superheroes, bundles of laughter and a tinge of crankyness.
All wrapped up in a pretty package that resembles the Cookie Monster.
Also self proclaimed Princess of Le Cupcake Kingdom
People I love. Music. Sweet treats. Singing animals. Movies. Princes. Books. Fables. Hindustan Heroes.
Sinks my Ship
Rude people working in hospitality and sales. Long queues. Idiots CUTTING long queues. People who Patronise.
Wishlist
To finally figure out what I'm meant to do. To travel the world. To eat anything without gaining ungodly amounts of weight. To get my happily ever after. :)
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