All my Exes Live in Texas
Is it healthy to be jealous or at the very least, wary of your partner's exes? Especially those he/she is still more than chummy with. You know, smses, random outbursts of surpressed feelings and hints or reminders of what they used to have and how great it was. Or perhaps several SOS calls that make your partner rush to their side claiming 'i still love him/her as a friend! I can't just leave them in pain/heartache/trouble' and proceed to lend their shoulder to cry on.
Hmm. Sounds familiar. Oh wait, I've been there! Many times! Always the exes. Jeez. Friends are fine. Like that Gwen Stefani song Cool. Confessions of pent up love that hasn't diminished after years, not fine. Lots of physical contact that reignites certain feelings, you're screwed man.
Yeah, not really fun is it? Hearing them comfort other people who used to shack up with them. Or unwillingly giving the green light for them to still meet up for coffee every week or so. Visualising how they used to touch, how the words he/she utters to you was once used on this other person (or persons), how they previously shared the same dreams. Great, my heart is knotting up just thinking about it.
Oh well......since I have had experience then it should be something I'd be prepared to tackle. All those years of watching people I was with cry over another girl or make sacrifices for someone else should equip me with the hardened guts to face all that without cringing.
disclaimer: I am still very much in love and happy. Just so you'd know. Haha.
Labels: Boys, Emo
Mooching
Just a gentle reminder for those who like to
mooch at their friends or relatives' place:
Do your own dishes.
Wash your own clothes, or at least your undies. Your ass doesn't smell like roses.
Clean up after yourself and make sure the place looks as tidy as it was when you first arrived.
Come on. I'd rather scoop a pile of dead cockroaches swimming in dark stagnant water than have a Tarago full of people sleepover at my house without pulling their weight.
Fact: I just did this today. Why? Because I cleaned up my host's bathroom and now it looks MUCH cleaner than when I arrived. Yes. I'm bragging because I hate it when people mess up my bathroom.
And dude, it never hurt to offer to pay for groceries AT LEAST ONCE during your stay. ESPECIALLY when you've got your whole family leeching off my friggin fridge.
Yes, I'm sorry if this is a bit emo. I know I've mooched before but I never let people wash my undies or eat truckloads of their food. Sometimes I cook and bake for them too using my own money. I also buy back treats for them when I go out. And I've even gone out of my way to do THEIR laundry for them a few times. I know I could do more but it's still better than not contributing at all.
And what do you do when you have a moocher?
Forget to cook meals when you know you're not eating at home.
Don't go out of your way to please them.
Stick grocery receipts on the fridge door. At eye level. With Highlighted totals.
Leave notes to ask if they can help. Like "oh no! I forgot to wash the toilet today! Can you help me please? Thanks!". Sometimes moochers are willing to help if asked.
So there you go. Some tips for moochers and those being mooched. Hopefully, those leeches will grow a set of balls and stop being a nuisance to other people. Word.
Labels: Rambling
Gentlemen and Grace
I was reading this post by
the Satorialist about how gentlemen should behave and the virtues of grace. It's really great to see so many men out there who take the time to show the ladies in their life just how special they are. It doesn't matter if she's your wife, mother or daughter. All these small gestures that indicate how in tune you are to their needs and subtle wants, show how much you care for them. Trust me, they will appreciate you more this way.
I'm hoping my brother would find the time to view all the comments because God knows how much I want him to grow up to be a charming gentleman. Full of poise, good humour and graceful manners. I know he doesn't need much work, he is raised by such wonderful people after all, but it would be good to remind him that it's not just about 'Please' and 'Thank Yous'.
Oh and I would like to say how thankful i am to get my own gentleman. Small things like cleaning my workspace for me without being patronising and stocking up my fridge with all the goodies I love like dark chocolates and sweet cherries. All without me asking. :)
Labels: Boys, Family
Self Esteem and Other Things
Everyone's been asking me what my dreams are for the future. If you remember, I stated I had no dreams. That is not entirely true. I do have them, but they would entice you to either laugh or frown in disapproval. Or both.
I have very low self esteem when it comes to what I'm good at and what I can achieve. I'm the ultimate pessimist, ending each good quality someone names with a 'but it's not as good as...' or 'oh, it's not THAT great but okayla, sometimes'. Don't get me wrong, this does not include other things in my life. I am TOTALLY confident I can finish that dessert after a hearty dinner or that I can walk across the Harbour Bridge by myself in the midst of a dust storm. It's just these other things like my skills and where I see myself in 10 years. I just can't find the confidence to see myself accomplish great things. I can actually give you a list of all the things I'm bad at after all these years of self depreciation.
Oh, I'm also however, very optimistic when it comes to other people's lives. I can be the best cheerleader you need. I know everyone has the potential to do whatever they want (unfortunately, this doesn't extend to personal development). They just need the coaxing to come out of their shells. I'll hold your hand, I'll pick you up when you're stuck on the floor in a heaping, sobbing mess. I'll even lie to you, if that's what you need to stop from jumping out the building. All this if you let me.
I can even rationalise why my friends hurt me. I understand why they say certain things, why they bite back and eventually I forgive them and beg them to forgive me. I can materialise reasons for people's actions without them even interacting with me. And no matter how much a person has hurt me, I still give them the benefit of the doubt (even if it's from afar :P)
Although of course, it doesn't work ALL the time. (woohoo pessimism kicks in again!)
So yes. I have low self esteem. And please don't take things personally. It's not a personal attack or an act of defiance. It's not all about you or just about me. And I don't think anyone really understood my previous post. All that talk can't permeate through the bubble remember? I can only read straight up choices. I make decisions by elimination. That's how God created me. And again I stress this, it's not all about you or just about me. I'm not trying to diss you or shun you. Please.
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