Everyone's been asking me why I haven't blogged since early September. Maybe it's because the only things I'd rather share with everyone is how sucky honours is and how much I wish I could finish fast. But that would be boring and predictable wouldn't it?
Everything else I'd rather not share because it's too personal and laughter might be at hand when viewing those thoughts. Or sarcasm. Or a morbid desire to punch me in the gut.
But here I am, just telling the world that I'm still alive and kicking. Actually, my dad made me put this up. Don't ask me why. I couldn't care less if the rest of the world thought I disappeared.
Okla. If u want updates, here they are: I got to talk to n take pics with Reza Salleh. :D I've been gorging on Raya food and home cooked meals and now my jeans are UBER (ngeh ngeh) tight. The word 'family' keeps resonating in my head much to Hawa's chagrin. I'm in love.
Anyhoo. I'll end this with an 80s flashback. Come on, you know it's the real reason you want me to update kan? huh huh huh.
I don't know if it was the evening breeze or the fact that I could feel His presence around me, but I shivered involuntarily on top of that hill.
I watched in awe as the sun slipped away, leaving traces of orange and pink footprints in the sky. I heard the soft rustling of leaves and noticed how each one moved to their own beat. I felt the warm tears roll down my cheeks a minisecond after I realised my emotions pounding on the door wanting to be released.
I thank Him for all the blessings He has given me. The many people He has lead me to. The places He's let me visit and stayed. The food I consume. The air I breathe. The love I give and receive. The many opportunities and challenges He has peppered along my path.
I ask Him to let me keep all of them, I ask Him to bestow blessings to all my loved ones. I beg of Him to never let my faith in Him waver. I will always want to thank Him and recieve His gifts.
I do feel guilty though, asking for more. I also feel guilty for giving up on my thesis. It seems like a betrayal to all those nights I prayed so hard to get into Honours. But I will turn this around. I will try my very best to put in as much as effort as I KNOW I can give. After all, I shouldn't shortchange myself. I know I can be more than mediocre if I wanted to. :)
I watched my sister's keeper last night. MAN, it's so depressing. I kept crying even when I told myself to stop. It's not fair Llama didn't cry at ALL!!! mehhhh..
Ah llama being here is good for ze soul. Apparently I'm more manja when she's around. Coz she's manja with me! Honest! She's just macho in front of strangers!
Justifying my actions by being defensive is probably not a good idea.
I think I'm going to have an ice cream/treat truck at my wedding. Ole!
Jeez. I'm getting more boring by the moment. Oh well.
Now if you're feeling depressed, here's something you could look into. It's an article my buddy Zek wrote adressing a charity which aids people with depression. It also contains his two cents worth of what it means to be depressed and how to counter it. We've all been there. I've been there and back again. I'm not fully over my hatred for honours but other things in my life have overrun that bitterness. I'm glad at least that I have a lot of things outside lab that make me happy. It keeps the stress levels in check.
So my dear sweetheart, the one who's still depressed. As you read this, I hope u understand that it all will pass. I know with all my heart that you can finish what you're doing now and excel. We're always there for you. You're stronger and more disciplined than you think. You're smarter too. I wish you could see all those positive words your supervisor has given to you. I wish you could realise that you're way ahead of the thesis game compared to everyone else. I also wish you'd see that you've already got the upper hand with your conference scheduled and a potential publication in your hands. Even if it all doesn't work out or you fall short, just think of all the experience you gained and at least enjoy the fact that you made it through shit and you got to spend an extra year in Sydney with us. :)
A dash of Disney, a sprinkle of pop punk, lashings of sweet treats, a pinch of superheroes, bundles of laughter and a tinge of crankyness.
All wrapped up in a pretty package that resembles the Cookie Monster.
Also self proclaimed Princess of Le Cupcake Kingdom
People I love. Music. Sweet treats. Singing animals. Movies. Princes. Books. Fables. Hindustan Heroes.
Sinks my Ship
Rude people working in hospitality and sales. Long queues. Idiots CUTTING long queues. People who Patronise.
Wishlist
To finally figure out what I'm meant to do. To travel the world. To eat anything without gaining ungodly amounts of weight. To get my happily ever after. :)
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