No Disrespecting Me
I'm thankful for the girlfriends I have. Somehow, in their presence I feel safe. I don't know if they realise it or not but they're the sweetest people I know. They make fun of you yes, but they do it to your face and it's never in a mean way.
No backstabbing, no prejudice, no disrespect.
These are the ones I want to keep, InsyAllah forever.
Thank you, loves. I do believe you'd know who you are. :)
Labels: Friends
Dilemmas and Balls
After all these years I do realise why I have to go through the same situations over and over again. At first I thought it was a cruel joke but I now know that it's because I'm meant to learn something from these dilemmas and grow some set of balls to face it in the future.
Well, it's safe to say that I have. Hoho. Well at least I think I have. *check pants*
I used to get really upset earlier and equate myself to a failure at being the better option. I used to beat myself up about it, thinking that I didn't have what it took to distract them. Now i know that it's not enough to find solace in someone or something healthier, it's also essential that you acknowledge, understand and accept that the lesser of the options is not good for you. Only then, can you take the plunge and forget about it. And believe me, it takes awhile for this to sink in. All the third party has to do is wait and not allow themselves to be part of the problem. It's no use fitting yourself into the predicament because trust me, you have NOTHING to do with it.
So there you have it. It just hit me that what I've cried over for the past six years has made me able to face this with a smile, a sigh and plenty of patience.
To those on the other end of the spectrum, hey, it's not the end of the world. Look ahead. The road is paved with plenty of good things. Just don't keep glancing back because then, you wouldn't be able to enjoy the ride. :)
Labels: Boys, Rambling
oops
Oops. I didn't mean to misinterpret my bf or show some lack of faith in God. I do apologise. Perhaps I lost what I was trying to get across while I was conveying everything my way.
I didn't mean to say God would give us things we don't deserve. He is after all Just and whatever He gives is what we're meant to have. Perhaps I misunderstood what my bf told me (the perils of early morning phonecalls) and got all worked up about the whole thing.
Maybe you might see this as a way for me to 'cover' for my boyfriend. Well, since I did miss out a few other key sentences in our conversation, I wouldn't want anyone to think less of him. It isn't fair for him to be judged based on what I say and not of what he actually shows or says to you. What my bf said was pretty much what we're all taught when it comes to prayers: You work hard for something and you pray and leave it to God. It's the 'tawakal' part he was emphasising on.
Perhaps it isn't my place to discuss about these matters. I am after all an ignorant little girl who is lost in love and unrealistic. So maybe it's wise for me to just shut up.
Thank you for bringing the inconsistencies to light anyway. :)
Prayers for you
I am feeling a little bit helpless. You see, the bf just told me about how we're meant to pray to God. He says that yes, it is still up to Him to grant our wishes or not but even if He did, it doesn't neccessarily mean it's for the best and whether it's with His full blessing or not.
Just because you ask for something a million times, when the time comes for Him to fulfill those prayers, it doesn't mean that you actually deserve what you get. Which is why, sometimes those things you ask for don't work out and end up causing more heartache. Apparently, you have to end all your prayers with something that indicates you leave it all to Him and hope that it's given with His blessings.
This made me feel less than hopeful. All this time, I've been praying so hard for some things, to the point of tears and when I got them, they were not what I had imagined. Example: Honours. Enough said. What made me scared was that I'm praying so hard for this relationship and if He grants what I want, it would only be short-lived because maybe I'm only meant to be with this guy now, not in the future. Yes. This scares the bejeezus out of me.
I do remember though, the last time I left everything to God and told him that I would accept whatever He thought was best for me, I ended up with this guy. So that made me a tiny bit relieved. But that still doesn't confirm that I'll have him forever. :( Sigh.
However, I did alot of thinking and I realised that no matter what you end up getting, even if the results are undesirable, if you have absolute faith that it's for the best and you acknowledge that it wasn't meant for you, the pain and sadness will be shortlived because something better will come your way.
Sigh.
Labels: Rambling
Lucifer is not Funny, he's Mean
Last night I gave into childish temptation and watched Cinderella under the covers. Despite its obvious misguiding information, like how on Earth could mice talk and wear 'human' clothes, this Disney classic does teach us a thing or two about human behaviour.
For instance, Cindy's fairy godmother granted her wishes and bade her off to the Ball. She made everything perfect, except that she only had until midnight to revel in her splendour. Now, if it were normal young ladies at this day and age, I can bet you a hundred bucks that the first thing out of their mouths would be: "What??!! Only MIDNIGHT?". Then, the whining would ensue. Cinderella on the other hand, said that it was more than she had hoped for and proceeded to float on Cloud 9 all the way to the Palace.
From that example, I deduced that miracles only happen to really good girls who accept and tolerate other people despite their flaws. And also girls who never complain or are not impossibly rude.
Another thing about this movie was that it did not push the idea of love at first sight as something normal or expected. The Duke sarcastically relayed to the King a situation where the Prince might miraculously be attracted to one girl from across the room and fall for her instantly as they dance the night away. However, while he was describing each little move out loud (condescendingly, I might add), the Prince really was acting it all out with Cinderella in the Ballroom below.
How I saw it was, of course we are programmed to think that falling in love at first sight or falling head over heels in a short period of time is impossible. What more wanting to spend the rest of your life with a person you do not know much about. Despite all that, these things actually DO happen in real life too. And the fact that it does, makes it extra special and nothing short of a miracle. After all, Cinderella wasn't your average girl. She deserved some magic in her life after years of child abuse.
Yes, I do realise I've been peppering this post with 'miracle' and 'miraculous'. It was the theme for Cinderella. Or any other Disney movie with Princessess. Anyway, I'll leave you to your normal, adult life now. Toods!
Labels: Geekery, Movies
Why a girlfriend needs a boyfriend
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend who will always have time to give her hugs and forehead kisses. Who can fix her favorite things. Who teaches her, she is important by stopping what he is doing just to watch her. Who will laugh at her and with her at all the right moments. Who does not mind when she steps on his shoes while dancing.
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend to learn that when he says it will be okay soon, it will. To tell her that not all is hopeless even when she feels like it. To show her, how it feels to be loved unselfishly.
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend to teach her that her value as a person is more than the way she looks. To give her a strong willful character. To feel whole and complete. To remind her of the comfort of being held near and feeling secure. Who will not punish her for her mistakes, but help her learn from them. To help her try again whenever she fails. To share with her, the wisdom she has not yet acquired.
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend to calm her down when she is stressed by her challenges. Who will make sacrifices so she will not have to sacrifice. Who will influence her life, even when he is not with her. To show her to embrace her flaws. To teach her to stand up for herself. To hold her just because she wants to be held. To teach her to believe she deserves to be treated well. To protect her when she is not wise enough to protect herself. To teach her that forgiving is a natural thing to do. To teach her that she can forgive more than once. To teach her that respect is to be earned as he has earned hers. To teach her to preserve her dignity through difficult times.
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend to teach her what it means to always be there. To be the safe spot, she can always run to. TO SHOW HER NOT ALL BOYS ARE LIKE THE ONES WHO HAVE HURT HER. To be the standard which she will judge all men. So that when no one else is there for her, she can close her eyes and see him. To show her that true love is unconditional.
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend so she will know what it is like to be someone’s favorite. To help her find her way in life. To join her journey when she is too afraid to walk alone. To pull her back when she is headed in the wrong direction. So she will have at least ONE HERO who won’t let her down. Who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else’s world, she is the center of his..
A girlfriend needs a boyfriend because without him, she will have LESS in her life than she deserves.
And that made me cry a little. And it made me miss him even more.
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