Sitting on my stairs at home, cats sleeping at our feet
I was reading Neil Gaiman's Sandman when I came across something that made me do a double take. Lucifer told Dream that all this while, he thought he rebelled and went against God and etc. But then he realised that it's all part of the Creator's plan and he was merely fulfilling a small segment of it. He then pondered how much of it did God know about in advance.
I found it interesting. You probably don't. Nevertheless, you know how events seem to unfold in front of you, and you make choices which affects the outcome. And behind all that is the All-knowing Creator.
Oh and seeing the depictions of Hell creeps me out. I'm sure what human minds fathom is nothing as horrifying as the truth that awaits.
I learned this one thing from The Sims 2. They have this Sanity meter by the corner which you keep in check by executing all your 'Wants'. Now, if the meter suddenly dips to alarming levels, naturally you'd try to boost it up again before you end up retarded. However, the lower your sanity level is, the tougher it is to carry out your Wants. So it's a cycle of sorts. When you hit rock bottom, you fry your brains and end up wanting really simple, mundane things like Peeing or Eating. Then slowly, you're able to regain your Sanity again.
Now let's try to put that in a more realistic context. You fall sick. You're far from home, your friends are busy with work, partners and their own problems, you're single. All this makes you depressed. And you know what happens when you're depressed? Your immune system plunges and thus you're sick for much longer. As you can see, it's another cycle. Until one day, you realise you're sitting in a pile of rotting manure and decide that since noone is going to take care of you, you might as well do it yourself. So you start slowly, like doing laundry and cooking scrambled eggs.
No. I'm still under the watchful eye of Despair and Desire. That's why I cry before I sleep. Before I walk in the realm of Oneiros, waiting for Destiny to reveal itself to me.
All that babble means my Sanity meter is still in the Red Danger zone.
(Okla, I'm not doing so bad. I'm just lazy, fat and anti social. And wanting to berdrama. :P)
Labels: Emo, Geekery, Rambling