I was giving myself a silent pep-talk on my way to chem lab this afternoon, which I was already late for. I was just sooo into thinking about how even after hitting a snag, n losing my momentum to study and in between feeling unfulfilled abt stupid, mindless, hormone induced *ahem* pangs I should be able to pull myself up and that things go on coz ppl who haf been thru worse r goin abt doin pretty darn good with their lives. Anyway, I was too self consumed with my thoughts that I didnt realise I forgot my lab manual. When I finally did I was already at the entrance of the building so I had to double back n get it. The trip back to my room and back once again to the lab was punctuatd with self berating thoughts and constant self bashing, teeth gritting annoyance at myself. Ironic kan? Just a moment ago I was optimistic n then the next moment my head is filled with negative thoughts. To put a long story short, I haf to haf a make up lab on fri, whr i haf class frm 9 til 3. So if ive got lab at 3 i finish at 5. Aftr that Ive gota attend the chem test at 5 (that is if i get to CHANGE the bloody TIME) which will end at 6pm. Then Ive gota hop on d bus to d City fo the UMNO meetin at 7pm. Mak Ai. Nak pengsan kot. Nice one Doro, uve managed to screw urself up again. Over wat? Juicy pieces of info? right.
Why is it that when you try to be humble or modest about sumthing, people say you have low self esteem? Why is it that when u finally feel sure about something, people say you're blowing your own horn? Why can't they just accept your honesty and the current reality. Maybe you really HAVE worked ur butt off for the test and you have a high probability of acing it. Maybe there really AREN'T any guys attracted to you at the time being and you're not in the mood to look for one. Maybe this is a non-issue but I just felt like bringing it up coz Its been bugging me coz Im one SELF CONSUMED PERSON.
I acknowledge the fact that Im startin to get a lil PMS-y. Its been awhile since Ive cried. Though skarang I lagi rasa cam nak tumbuk org. :P. Nitey nite.
Labels: Emo, Uni