Great. One day it’s ‘I am so glad I’m single’ and the next it’s ‘Gosh, why can’t I just get a boyfriend’. Jeez. Now it’s just me wanting to beat myself up for sounding so goddamn pathetic. It’s so superficial when u look back at it logically. But hey, since when were my emotions ever logical.
I’m already too distracted as it is, what with awesome friends and cool events coming up these next few weeks. How in the world can I fit a love life in when I can’t even concentrate on my studies?
Who’s gonna pull me up when I enter my well of despair and ignorance. Who’s gonna brighten up my day with private jokes and his cute smile? Who’s gonna give me goodnight calls that might just last for hours n let me give him wake up calls? Who’s gonna pull me in close when the wind blows too hard?
At least I don’t have to tolerate prolonged sulking over small matters. I don’t have to lower my ego just so he can win the battle. I don’t have to put up with nagging and disapprovals. I don’t have to impress anyone and I can dress however I want, eat whatever I want and go wherever and whenever I want to go.
I miss him but I’m so sick of having to work things out and hope for things that won’t come true. I’m also sick of having to soothe myself and give myself pep-talks about how I’ll find someone better. It’s hard to believe in all that crap when there’s not much proof to it.
*sigh* I don’t know what I want. It’s just one of those stupid phases where u try to find something wrong with yourself when in actual fact everything is A-Okay.
Labels: Boys, Emo