Prayers for you
I am feeling a little bit helpless. You see, the bf just told me about how we're meant to pray to God. He says that yes, it is still up to Him to grant our wishes or not but even if He did, it doesn't neccessarily mean it's for the best and whether it's with His full blessing or not.
Just because you ask for something a million times, when the time comes for Him to fulfill those prayers, it doesn't mean that you actually deserve what you get. Which is why, sometimes those things you ask for don't work out and end up causing more heartache. Apparently, you have to end all your prayers with something that indicates you leave it all to Him and hope that it's given with His blessings.
This made me feel less than hopeful. All this time, I've been praying so hard for some things, to the point of tears and when I got them, they were not what I had imagined. Example: Honours. Enough said. What made me scared was that I'm praying so hard for this relationship and if He grants what I want, it would only be short-lived because maybe I'm only meant to be with this guy now, not in the future. Yes. This scares the bejeezus out of me.
I do remember though, the last time I left everything to God and told him that I would accept whatever He thought was best for me, I ended up with this guy. So that made me a tiny bit relieved. But that still doesn't confirm that I'll have him forever. :( Sigh.
However, I did alot of thinking and I realised that no matter what you end up getting, even if the results are undesirable, if you have absolute faith that it's for the best and you acknowledge that it wasn't meant for you, the pain and sadness will be shortlived because something better will come your way.