Not Cutting It
Please be forewarned that I have just previously endured 4 hours of heat and and an extra 4 hours of walking in the CBD. I am also currently pms-ing. PMS Buddy doesn't lie. Neither do my pimples.
I fell utterly talentless. I have no amazing gift brought down from generations. I can't cook, I can't sing, I can't dance. I'm a downright shame. I can't even write properly. No poetry, no fiction, no research papers. All I do is ramble incoherently.
I am absolutely shy to the point of adverting my gaze from my own reflection when doing uninhibited things in front of the mirror. (shut up). I get stage fright easily. I take everything as a joke. I can't let myself go and lose myself in things. So Unsexy, no?
Yes. Right now I feel like I am at the bottom of the sewer. Carrying dreams that involve just being able to see the stars. I don't understand why I'm feeling this blue. I'm dripping tears of shame at being someone that just doesn't cut everyone's expectations. My parents, my friends, my teachers, my boyfriend. I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be. I'm sorry if I'm not enough for any of you.
Okay. Crying leads to headaches. Off to bed. Thank you.