Something Gave it Away

Ever had people come up to you asking for advice but nothing you say seems to penetrate their cerebral cortex? You try very hard to twist your words, to sugarcoat certain elements just to make everything go down easily and yet, the bait's still on the hook?

Have you ever wondered if the problem here is not in fact the person seeking your advice, but the person GIVING it?

Sure, you're not the one trying to cope with somthing. Yeah, you're not the one in trouble. But why is it that the other person is finding it really hard to accept what you say?

The thing is, when doling out much needed advice, you have to control HOW you express yourself. If you come across as patronising or defensive, how can you expect people to listen to you? You've got to speak like you understand them and empathise with their situation. Even if you've been through it all before, don't act like its a piece of cake and degrade them.

Usually, when people you know come up to you to let out their anxiety or burning questions, you tend to get all riled up at their predicament because you care. Or coz it's about you. This tempers with your rationale and makes you give answers that are biased and EMOTIONAL. (guilty as charged). You use your heart instead if your logic. Thus, what comes out of your mouth holds absolutely no weight.

Therefore, before gritting your teeth and deeming someone as stubborn just because they won't listen to you, listen to yourself first. Would you take your own advice?

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@ Wednesday, November 18, 2009 7:35 PM

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Therapeutic Ramblings
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