Thoughts on rainy days
She sat on the edge of her bed dazed and confused. A wreck mentally, emotionally and physically.
She stared straight ahead with her unblinking eyes waiting and longing for her thoughts to unjumble themselves.
Her hair stuck out in soft wisps at her ears and nape, her sweater scrunched up in places and her newly accquired layer of fat settled itself tremendously well just below her chin. She breathed out a sigh.
All she wanted was to be loved. No. She knew she was loved. She just wanted to FEEL it. She wanted to know that she wasn't really as hopeless as she thought she was. She was having one of those spells where everything felt wrong. She was starting to lose herself and she was afraid of that. She wanted to be reminded of how she used to be, what she was doing here and what she needed to do. She needed someone to reprimand her softly from all her negative thoughts and actions and painfully but lovingly force her to buck up. She needed those who knew her best.
The day seemed to pass without her knowledge. It grew dark as she sat still. Like a movie on fast forward. It made her surroundings blurry and that confused her even more. Or maybe it was her tears.
With much reluctance, she snapped out of her stupor and summoned what was left of her will. She decided that perhaps in this case, doing was much better than thinking or talking and so she set out to fix herself.
Labels: Emo
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