I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
My mom sent me an sms this morning to say that when she hears the Fergie song 'Big Girls Don't Cry' she thinks of me.
And so I asked her why. This was her reply:
"Listen to the lyrics. She seems so mixed up. Nak independent, tapi nak manja jugak. And yet appears strong and determined, though may sound whining at the same time. That's you in a nutshell baby!"
Those were her EXACT words. Goddamit she can read melike a book! hahaha. She IS my mother after all. sigh. But then again, though I didnt say it to her, most girls my age ARE like that kan? Im not the only one kan?? No, this isn't me trying to make myself feel better. It's a fact. Hands up to those who know girls like me. *searches the crowd*. pah.
I was thinking of that story If told us a few nights ago. About the turtle who had a stone wedged in its eye. Ouch. I was just wondering what was it feeling. Pain? Discomfort?
How does it express pain? Ive never actually heard turtles wail in agony. Does it trash around like Darryl Hannah in Kill Bill? Or does it just grow used to it after some time?
And how do we try to comfort a turtle? Or reptiles in general? I know you can comfort mammals and birds but what about these prehistoric beings? Are they capable of feeling the love we project towards them? I suppose certain pet owners might say yes. But how do we do that? U can hug dogs, scratch a cat's neck, stroke a bird's chest but I doubt cuddling a terrapin sounds very appealing to most people.
I read somewhere that we humans have three brains in one: the reptilian, the paleo-mammalian and the neo-mammalian, each being layered on top of each other through evolution. The limbic system which controls emotions lie in the paleo-mammalian division which is what we share with other mammals. And since the reptilian sector only has the basic functions as well as territorial and dominant attributes, I assume that reptiles have a lower capacity towards feeling emotions.
However, I would still like to believe that they do unconciously feel emotions even if just a little. They are after all sentient beings like us and the rest of higher animal world. Therefore, I shall end my self righteous, animal-loving, tree-hugging tirade with a reminder NOT to hurt animals and show them as much love and compassion as possible because they CAN feel it. Thanks. :D
ps: Here's the article if u guys decide to read it. I know not everyone finds this appealing, but to those who do, just give it a shot.
Alamak. I think Ive fallen for Dominic from So You Think You Can Dance. Hee.
I've been watching his hip hop routine with Sabra over and over again. Well. Actually Ive been watching ALL of their routines over and over again. Muahahaha..I likeeee...Plus, he's hilarious!! :D
This song sends shivers down my spine. From the first 2 lines up till the song ends. It may sound happy and upbeat but you have to read the lyrics. It sounds so sad and depressing actually. Hmm Hmm...
Festering. That was what I did on tuesday, wednesday and thursday. My gudness. I was so sick and tired that all I could do was lie in bed and sit at my desk as I forced myself to stuff all nine lectures of genetics into my already congested head.
But all that is over. I still have the sniffles but I'm getting better definately. And Ive gotten an mc for thursday. Yeeeaayyy!!!
I've been talking to my cousins lately. They've got a lot of juicy things to tell apparently. Im somehow glad that for the first time, they're opening up and letting me in on what's going on in their lives. One minute they're irritating me like mad as they steal my cookies and kick my feet, and the next they're gushing to me about their partners or telling me about their relationship problems. And what makes it even weirder, is that they're 16 and 17 and I'm already 21 and yet Im the single one here. Owh well, I suppose it doesn't matter. Goddamit, I miss them already. I think I'm suppose to go on a holiday with them when I get back. Mampos. Kena babysit lagi. Hehehe...
Anyway, I was just thinking (after staring and mumbling at pics of a 16 yr olds bday party) that on my 21st (crap) bday, I would like to wear a dress. A fancy prom-ish one. And I'd like to have dinner somewhere nice. Where the food is very very good and there's live music. Sigh. But like the past 2 birthdays, I have learnt not to expect too much. I dont think I celebrated my birthday last year. On the day itself I was leaving Bali and the onlymemorable thing on that day was darting around the resort with my brother while making stupid faces into the camera. Hehehe..I like.
ps: Im still a physiological mess. I hate it. Grr.
Forgive me I'm trying to find, My calling, I'm calling at night.
Don't they look SO good together??
I think Marta is a genius. Her sketches are just so beautiful. View her artwork here
Check out her drawings of my husband Sirius as well while ur at it. And sketches of my other fave couple, Hermione and Ron, which are probably the cutest I've ever seen.
ps: umm..i think i need sum TLC. I is wanting my Oma. I is wanting bubur and soup that I did not make myself. I is wanting hugs. I is wanting to manja. I is wanting to lie in bed and stare at the fluffy white clouds. I is wanting someone to pass me my medicine. I is wanting to lay my head on my mummy's lap and fall asleep. Please, if this gets too annoying just shoot me. Or sedate me using strawberry filled cadbury Dream.
Seriusly, sorry if i start sounding relli mengada..its the flu making a spectacular comeback. I think its trying to go out with a bang. And my mom says its the hormones. Yea, they're always at fault. Hahahaha...Arif thinks i need a bf. I think I just need someone to cook for me and shower me with attentiontil i get well. :D.
Dari sini ke bintang-bintang, perjalanannya sungguh panjang
I can't sleep so I've resorted to doing this.
The sectors students venture into during their Uni years:
Work and Glory When studies dont form the bigger part of your responsibilities. When you get more satisfaction at the amount of pay you get. When your list of achievements contain more extracurricular activities than HDs.
Social Life and Excitement When passing out at nightclubs and dance parties become a weekly (if not a nightly) event. When fun sleepovers happen more often than study groups. When each day is reserved for a different friend. When your housemates realise they haven't seen you all week.
Selfishness and Laziness When people forget you exist. When attending lectures and tests seem to only be optional to you. When you cease to breathe fresh air and see the light of day. When you become your own island. When friends stop inviting you for events.
Spirituality and Moral Beliefs When you think that fighting for world peace and other real issues need more attention than your lab reports. When you forget to sit for the mid session exam because you were too busy protesting against some politician. Assignments and Grades When you start bucking up due to the string of failures. When you realise the real reason you were sent here. When you decide that so many people have such high hopes for you. When you decide you should make them proud instead of dissapointing them. When you decide to do whats right.
We may tend to stick to only one sector throughout our student life. Or we may venture into each section at different points. We may have a combination of each sector at one time. I know which one Id rather be in. Do you?
I just realised why I can't sleep. I drank 3 cups of coffee at the hall. Grr. Cepatla fix oven so I can make cupcakes and/or brownies. Double Grr.
A moonlight serenade on the sunny side of the street
Ive been downloading songs like mad. Hee. My current faves wld be Daphne Loves Derby and Amber Pacific. Typical punk pop love songs. No. Not like Simple Plan. :D
Now I'll just have to wait for the new Cartel album. And perhaps for anyone who has Houston Calls and Hit the Lights and Valencia and Halifax and that new album from All Time Low . Alamak, macam demanding la plak. Hahaha. Goddamit, I LOVE punk pop. It makes me happeeeeee!!! Thanks to Chomet btw for introducing me to these bands. :D.
Owh and i have Lisa Ono toooo!!! Omg omg! Yeaaayyyyyyy!!!! Now im actually excited about studying while listening to her!! :D She makes me happy toooo! I can so cair listening to her dulcet tones. *sigh*.
ps: check out Gedik Queens' new template and posts. I am Not FULLY responsible for them okie. :D
Edit: Gosh, Im in love with Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. I heart the part where Juliet Simms comes in. Thank u so so much Chomet!!! Sumpah best gila. Without u Id be stuck listening to JT and Zac Efron. :P
The first taste of kurma after a day of purging sins.
Im such a mess physiologically. Ive got the flu, which means my nose is all stuffed up and my body decides that being hot should be taken literally. God, I can TASTE n SMELL the phlegm!!! Im also bloated like a cow. At least cows are cute. Mrrffhh..
On the plus side, (n trust me its a HUGE plus side), i am berbukaing with some of my most favourite people in the seven seas! Even though I insisted the menu was to be Western (Italy is in the west as opposed to us Fini!!) we're gonna eat on the floor together, Kampung style. And then we'll have jemaah prayers and terawikh as well. Yeaaaayyyyyyy!!!! I likey likey!!! Feels like home. Well, considering the fact that these people are like family to me, this IS home in Sydney. :D.
Okay. My headache is starting up again. Selamat menyambut Ramadhan to everyone, hope you have a great one!
Owh btw, wish me luck on my Ramadhan resolutions: terawikh nightly, solat penuh and start studying constantly. All the best to you guys too! XOXO.
Like the diamond in your ring, cut to mirror your intention
You know how they always say that things will be clearer if you hear BOTH sides of the story?
Thats only a HALF TRUTH.
Sometimes, when you hear both sides of a story, it seems that neither party is to blame or responsible. Sometimes, both sides are neither wrong or right. Its just that they've failed to compromise. Or sometimes, both parties are at fault and they are just too egoistic and stubborn to admit defeat.
It sucks being in between two clashing groups, especially when you know both have faults and merits. How can you tell them that you think their anger is unnecessary? How can you tell them that they aren't all high and mighty either and that the other party isn't fully to blame? How can you pull egos back from the moon?
Of course, it isn't my responsibility being a moderator. I have no obligation towards mending broken ties or misunderstandings that don't involve me. The last time that happened, I had several teary breakdowns. It just bothers me watching friends give each other cold stares and bitch around behind each others back.
Oh no, Im not being ostentatious. Im not even trying to boast. Im guilty of bitching too. Id like to believe that I try to first understand WHY these people act in such a way. Maybe they're stressed too? Maybe they're insecure? Maybe they're just jealous? Although I must say, there are certain people who are just plain NAIVE and IGNORANT and who don't think of the consequences of their actions. These people are the hardest to straighten out. I have no idea to iron out that kink. Owh well. If you do, let me know.
I like it when my books smell of coffee. I think my Harry Potter has intergrated the Starbucks atmosphere within its pages. So when I was lying in bed finishing it up, I could imagine myself curled up in one of the sofas as passerbys stare at me through the glass.
Kinda sad that there wont be any more Potter books to look forward to. Ah well. Up next: Inspiration Sandwich! I love love love this book. Comel gile. Hee..
Its a happy holiday today! Yeaaayyyy!! Twas awesome having long random convos with Hawa, Anas n Sunny last nite. And waking up to french toast and scrambled eggs. Back to sleepover weekends!! Yeaaayyyy!!!!!! And now is my alone time at home! Wheeee!!! And later there will be karaoke! :D
Tak emo kan? Tak sedih kan? Ahah! I am capable of being normal! Hahahaha...
Owh, btw, I watched Apocalypto. By far one of the most disturbing movies I've seen. Its a bit too graphic and the idea of the existence of a civilisation that practices gruesome blood sacrifices is just a bit hard to digest. But don't get me wrong. For that itself I think its a great movie. Spectacular acting, beautiful scenery and dramatic fight scenes. Just be prepared to stomach constant literal heart ripping moments.
Okie Dokie. Enjoy the long weekend peeps. Love Ya loads!!!
Starbucks awaiiiiitttsss!! (Syaz, I miss my capitalism coffee!)
*Huge Sigh*
Everything's over. Finally. :D. More than a months worth of stress, tears and fatigue has lead up to two wonderful days. Mfest and MGM. Words cannot express how I feel about the events and the people involved in them.
No more catching the bus to the city 3 times a week. No more staying up late writing names down for raffle tickets or painting banners. No more being knackered by poster runs or dance practices. No more Aiyoo ammaa! or kenangankuuuu~~ Crap.
Its so cliched to say that Ive made so many new friends but its absolutely true. People I've never talked to are now on hugging basis with me. From my Mfest son Julian and all the way from Wollongong, Ririn! And those who I already know, I've gotten closer to. My lovely 'family' got stronger due to several breakdowns. ;P. All the lovely sweethearts I worked with, you know who u are. Hee..Thanks a lot everyone. You guys have been great! Thanks loads to my sweetheart Intan for coming over all the way from Tassie. Miss you SOOO much already!
I have to say, I wasn't feeling quite slamming on the day of MGM itself. It was nice to go for that walk by myself and stare at the blue sky as tears streamed down my face. I had that Jikustik song, Pandangi Langit Malam Ini in my head, well, the acapella version at least and all I could think of was home. How the sky looks exactly the same from my bedroom window in Tmn Megah. Thanks to Zek for listening. And thanks sooo much to those who asked me if I was alright. I wasn't in the mood for telling but I really appreciate the concern. :D
Now, its just a matter of picking up the slack and concentrating on more important issues. But first! I is needing a break so Im running away today! Yeaaayyyyyy!!!!
A dash of Disney, a sprinkle of pop punk, lashings of sweet treats, a pinch of superheroes, bundles of laughter and a tinge of crankyness.
All wrapped up in a pretty package that resembles the Cookie Monster.
Also self proclaimed Princess of Le Cupcake Kingdom
People I love. Music. Sweet treats. Singing animals. Movies. Princes. Books. Fables. Hindustan Heroes.
Sinks my Ship
Rude people working in hospitality and sales. Long queues. Idiots CUTTING long queues. People who Patronise.
Wishlist
To finally figure out what I'm meant to do. To travel the world. To eat anything without gaining ungodly amounts of weight. To get my happily ever after. :)
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