Teasing to please
Maintaining friendships shouldn't have to be this hard.
Those far away understand the distance, the changes, the new responsibilities. I don't see them complaining. Even if they find some things hard to digest, they speak it out. We have talks and we work things out. Then once everythings settled, the problm goes out the window and everything is all peachy again. We know we don't talk as often. We know other people have settled into our new lives. But we NEVER hold grudges on that. My best guy friend spends so much time with his gf and is super busy with studies that its so hard to pin him down for a nice long chat. We used to go out a couple of times a week and now I only talk to him once in 2 mnths. Online. Yet still, when we do, we never act all insulted at the lack of communication, we spill our guts out just like we used to, just that we still miss each other loads. Its the same with my besties in UK. Its been almost a year since Ive seen Izzy, I don't hear her complaining about me neglecting her. She actually understands and she still loves me all the same. :D
Even SOME much nearer understand. They face the same things. They see it with their own eyes. They don't make things more complicated than they should be. Its normal to grow apart. Its normal to make new friends. Its normal to spend time with different people on different days. If u feel like you're missing out, do something about it. Don't poke and jab insults while doing nothing on your part. Like I said, it shouldn't be this hard. It shouldn't be made into something huge when it clearly isn't much.
Lesson of the day: If you love your friends purely, you should understand the reasons for their actions. If you have a problem, you talk things out and make things work. If you truly love them as much as you say you do, then you know that it is unconditional and therefore not something that requires calculations and such. Before you take it out on them for negligence, make sure you see things their way first coz u might be missing the bigger picture. :)
This is a seasonal affair, so be there or be square..
How SAD. Winter is creeping close. Can you feel his frosty fingertips grazing your cheeks lightly? How he blows in your ears teasingly? How he laughs at your attempt to cover up that sheer top with a thick jacket and more?I now know the reason as to why i had endless breakdowns last year. SAD. As in Seasonal Affective Disorder. Need a reason to blame the weather? Here it is! Blaming your hormones are SO last year! Now the in thing is to blame the season! But seriously, lack of light actually causes you to feel moody and depressed. Ahah! At least this year there has still been an abundance of sunshiny days! Whoopeedoo. And maybe because this year I dont have as many problems. Or um. I dont have that ONE problem anymore. I mean there still is drama..muahahahha..but yea. Its gettin old ppl...Its fun putting in relationship deposits into people's bank accounts. Yayy! I feel like I've earned extra friendship brownie points. Okay. Exaggeration much. Damn. Im sleepy oredi. Okie. Mandi!
One of these nights...
I just watched thirteen and now I'm friggin scared of being a mom. Like What The Hell. The hellhole she sinks into. I should let my mom watch it, she'd be waaay thankful I never even got that close to losing it. Pergh.
I'm thankful I've been brought up in a good environment. The values my parents, granparents n those who've raised me helped shape me n keep me grounded somewhat. And I'm also thankful that my friends aren't like evie. That devil in disguise. Its frustrating tau watching teens succumb to peer pressure. Which brings about that paranoia of parenthood.
Basically Im pretty frustrated with the movie. I think it's coz I AM a goody two shoes and I can't tolerate extremely high levels of rebelliousness. I mean, you KNOW its wrong and self destructive, you KNOW your mother cries over it everynite, why the hell do you still do it? Coz its fun? What the f**k?? I mean, I'm no saint either but COME OOONNNNNN...It's alright to want more freedom and independence, it's alright to fight for it but why do you have to abuse it?
My mom used to say I abuse my independence all the time. I seriously think she should rethink that and just watch this movie, or better yet, watch some other people's kids. I get teased and looked down upon for being too 'baik'. Some people actually regard it as a weakness. But my mom used to think (during my rebellious stage) that I'm not thankful and that I misuse her trust and etc. Wow. Bayangkan if I were like Nikki Reed. I think Id be disowned. Hahahaha..
Johnny boyyy!!!
Ive just finished 2 n a half hours of studying biochem. Pergh. Finally. Lets just hope the enthusiasm lasts till finals end. Or at least till the quiz next friday. :D. I had coffee, which explains why I can't sleep. Damn.I found this uber cool website called Johnny Cupcakes. At first I was decieved by the name. Me being typical me, thought it was a cupcake website and got all excited by the piccie of the man covered in flour with his apron on. But after further examination i found out that Lo, and Behold! It was a clothing site. The dude makes tee shirts with cupcakes on them! And what cute tee shirts they are!I love everything about the brand. The story behind it and how the guy went from nothing to over 600 people queueing up for his store opening. The cute designs and merchandise. The awesome pictures. And of course the whole concept in itself. His store even looks like a bakery, complete with a vintage dough mixer! (I'm utterly jealous). He also packs his merch in lil cake mix boxes that include lil bits of flour in them. I'm SO SO SO impressed!Okay. This man is an inspiration to me. I SO wana do sumthing like that one day. But for me, I actually want a bakery and a clothing store and bookshop all in one. Okay. My dreams are big. I seriusly wish I could make it a reality. Just like Johnny boy here. But i guess, I'd have to graduate and work first eh? And that means..back to biochem!!! Toodles!
Don't ask me to think good intentions will change everything
'Sex, Death and other forms of escapism'.
Mine would include doing laundry and lonesome bus rides. But what IS it that we're escaping from? Other people? Our fake selves when we're with other people? our REAL selves? Or is it just our whole lives at the moment? The responsibilities? The workload, pressure and stress?
Why do I bother? I should be stressed but I'm not. Assignments are due soon but not soon enough to sweat blood. Quizzes are creeping nearer but not near enough to produce dark under eye circles. So why do I still feel like running away?
Next random thought: Once you've tasted the smooth, bittersweet taste of dark chocolate, you very rarely choose to revert back to normal, overrated milk chocolate (and God forbid, sickly sweet white chocolate!). Or maybe that's just me. Tee Hee.
(Now, shall we take all that metaphorically or literally????HMMM)
I cld b brown, I cld b blue, i cld b violet skyyyyyyy
*sigh*. Its starting up again. What? That spell of emoness related to all things Malaysian.
Gol and Gincu reruns. Flashes of sunny days driving in my Kelisa. Whiffs of lunches similar to those shared with mum, dad and Mel at Bangsar Village. Cravings for teh o ais limau and roti canai and roti tisu. Dreams of lying down on Faezah's bed and finishing off Liz's cake.
*sigh*. I swear it's coz the weather has decided that it would grow up and finally act its season. (ie: autumn). Or maybe it's coz its that time of the month again. Tee Hee.
I think I've skewed slightly from my goals. I need to get back on track. I'm too lazy though. Heh.
I love my girlfriends. I love girly talks with them. As Hawa puts it, 'it's good for the soul'. And boy, do i agree. It makes you heart lighter from grief and heavy with love. I realise that no matter where I go, no matter who I mix with, I'll end up with a small group of girls who mean the world to me. I would be nothing without them. All the advice, the laughs, the listening. Thanks to my dearest and most loved sweethearts. The old and the new. The ones that are 5 minutes away to the ones 20 hours away. I love u guys toads and miss ya sheeps. (Tribute to Liz. :P).
I also realised that I actually DO love my guy friends. Its been SO long since I last had this much fun laughing and talking with guys. I had bad experiences where the guys went too far with their jokes. But the ones I had in INTEC and the new ones I've met here are perfectly fine. I don't have to act all 'ayu'. I just laugh loudly and make stupid dirty jokes that some of my girlfriends won't tolerate. ;). I'm LOVING IT!
It's great having different sets of friends. You can act differently with different groups. You don't have to subject to one lifestyle constantly. There are times when I feel geeky, I realise only Zek and Arif will truly layan me. Times when I feel like having heart to heart talks I know I can count on my gediks and my other sweeties and vice versa. Times when I need to laugh like hell, i just grab the loudest guys I know. Perfect.
And times when they need to find someone to share their food experiences with, they all look for me. ;)
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